Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
