the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
