Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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