He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
