I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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