I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
