I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
