They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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