They should really pass out barf bags in church
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
