CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I will pee on everything he values.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
