do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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