Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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