I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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