I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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