she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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