I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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