I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
