He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
