There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
