this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
