Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize