I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
