In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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