omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
