ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
