He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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