this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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