ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
