She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
