she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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