she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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