But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
