Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize