I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize