You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
