theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Quick, to the slutcave!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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