Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
