He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
