some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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