ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
