At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
