My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize