I'm so fucking centered right now
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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