Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
