i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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