is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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