I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
