You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
