I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
