I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
