her vagine was all disorganized.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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