Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
found the other keg... it's in the tree
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
