Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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