I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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