Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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