I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize