im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
