I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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