Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
