Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
