so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
As shirtless as possible
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
