People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
