She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
