On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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