i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
