remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just want nice things and good sex
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
