I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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