I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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