Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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