I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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