If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize