so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
