Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
