"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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