He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
there is glitter all over my balls
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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