youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need moral support for this bender
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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