I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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